Just a few random thoughts and pictures

Not such a good day….

Today is not one of my best days, so this may well drift off into a self pitying load of nonsense any time soon, in fact it’s almost certain to…..

Seriously, I’m feeling crap today, mentally that is. As my regulars readers already know, I suffer with Depression. It can strike at any time, even on a good day, and often appears totally at random and for no apparent reason.

Today is one of those days. The only reason there’s a more “normal” post here today as well as this one, is because I actually typed that up yesterday.

Today though, I woke up and cried, simple as that. I then spent almost two hours being comforted by hubby while I tried intermittently, and fruitlessly as usual, to explain to him what was wrong.

He’s used to days like these now though, as much as anyone can be I suppose, so never really expects an explanation. He’s even developed his own little routine to help me cope. He holds me till I’m calm, he talks to me about something utterly frivolous and tries to make me smile, then he does what he’s doing right now.

He’s gone to the local supermarket, and I know when he comes back there’ll be a fresh box of tissues, soft drinks and snacks (so I can forget about cooking lunch), probably some chocolate, and maybe even a bottle of wine and a new DVD.

Then for the next few hours, we’ll sit and watch any DVD’s I choose, munch on the snacks, and chat. And since I’m already emotional as hell I might even risk finally watching that specials box set. There’ll be plenty of tissues after all.

Later, when I’m feeling better I’ll probably come back online, but for now I’m just gonna go snuggle on the sofa, and tell him yet again how much I love him. I really don’t do that enough some days.


June 13, 2010 - Posted by | Random Thoughts


  1. Fancy sharing him?! He sounds pefect!

    I really hope you feel a lot better soon. I have big D episodes every now and again, fortunately not often and they’re brief.

    I get very hormonal every month and cry a lot too, but I know that’s not the same thing.

    You and I both know, though that the important thing is that it WILL pass.
    It’s just Hell on Earth when it happens.

    Hang in there. Xx

    Comment by whogal | June 13, 2010

  2. thanks whogal,

    I get the monthly moods too, worse than I used to, but I guess that’s the combined effect of the two things together.

    Feeling a bit better now, but still a bit “off” if you know what I mean?

    I did however get through The Next Doctor, Planet Of The Dead and Waters Of Mars, plus the full Confidentials for each, in my little DW marathon. Oh and a very large bag of Maltesers.

    Decided to stop there though, didn’t think I could handle The End Of Time, not in my current frame of mind.

    Comment by develish1 | June 13, 2010

  3. Been there Dev, and I think its a plus on your side that you can still post- I know what its like to deal with depression and to be able to stick to a routine?

    Amazing- kudos Dev.

    Comment by Anita Marie | June 14, 2010

  4. Thanks Anita,

    that’s one of the reasons I forced myself to come online today, the routines are an important part of my coping mechanism.

    As I said I’d already got a draft post ready, so all I had to do was hit “publish”, but then I thought I’d just add this post too.

    I just felt the need to get it out there, you know?

    Comment by develish1 | June 14, 2010

    • Yes I do- and getting it out there is much better then shutting down- and as far as just hitting publish- well, unless you’ve been there we both know that SOUNDS easy but still…

      Comment by Anita Marie | June 14, 2010

    • you’re right, it does sound easier than it actually was.

      If I’m honest, just coming online at all was harder than some would think, when I could’ve simply hidden away under my duvet instead.

      Although if I’d done that hubby would just have been “checking on me” regularly. He does that, partly because he does worry, but also because he knows it will annoy me to the point where I’ll get up to make him stop.

      Like I said, he’s getting rather good at coping.

      Comment by develish1 | June 14, 2010

  5. Oh I know how easy it is to just hide under the duvet, so as Anita said, good on you for not doing that.

    CERTAINLY not wise to watch TEOT when feeling bad – as I said, I couldn’t even cope with that Casanova video! 😦

    I may well have a go at Blackpool tonight… We’ll see. Still can’t wait for “The Chatterly Affair”! 🙂

    Ooh, I wonder if the repeat of DT’s Bedtime Story’s been put on i-Player? I bet I’ve missed it.

    Comment by whogal | June 16, 2010

  6. I’ve just been typing up a post whogal (I’ll probably post it Friday) listing a whole batch of DT heavy TV coming up in the next couple of weeks.

    Comment by develish1 | June 16, 2010

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